Freedom To Be......HIS.

I was thinking on my way into work this morning how uncomplicated my relationship with the Lord is. Maybe that is good, maybe it is complacent to some if they are looking into my life...I don't know, and honestly I have had to give up worrying what others think and be confident in knowing that my Lord KNOWS me. I also know that living life has taught me that a living, breathing, relationship with God, for me,  IS uncomplicated. In this day and age everyone is reading everyone else's thoughts on God. So many think they have found the key that unlocks Heaven's wisdom, they write a book that people buy and if truth be told...the ONLY book that unlocks Heaven's wisdom is the Bible. Everyone quotes everyone....but what moves me, beyond actually reading the Word, is when someone else quotes "THE" Word and the spirit awakens truth within me. 

I care about relationships with people but I care MORE about my relationship with Jesus. From that relationship others fall into place. I don't have to be "KNOWN" by others to be authentic or real.  I all ready know who knows me. God knows me; HE loves me, HE corrects my heart, HE is invested in me just the way HE created me. I am imperfect...but that is OK. I AM loved. I BELIEVE it!  At the end of the day, I stand before Him, not man. Life has taught me well to trust more the simplicity of my relationship with my creator.  I gave up trying to be what I am not and instead started living with the me He created in my mother's womb. I am unlike anyone else....I am not better, nor am I worse.  I am, HIS. I am "fearfully and wonderfully made."  He made me to love cookies.....He made me to be the cup half full girl, He gave me faith and strength to walk to places in my life and spirit I would have never thought I could or would.

HE is the one I give the treasure of my hearts deepest secrets to. When I do share my heart with someone it is BECAUSE God has made it clear I can. Not everyone deserves the treasure of me. It is God who moves my heart to be authentic, when and with whom. I have learned that half the time issues I think I have with others are really my own. As that is revealed to me, it releases me to get healing from my Father. It inspires me to look into my own life rather than to figure out someone else's. It has taught me also to how to forgive. That one took a while for God to give me victory in. I am doing better and better and better. I know my savior doesn't get concerned over me understanding others as much as He is concerned that I know "HE" understands me and calls me to go where HE leads.  Breaking away from needing man's acceptance was conquered by God's complete truth taking over in my life. 

I have learned to go "About MY Father's Business" as it relates to my life and what HE asks of me. 

I do have to add I am older now so where I sit is where I sit...and we are all on a different journey. I pass no judgement where anyone else is.  I am just sharing where my journey has brought me to. 

It is quite simple..."Jesus Loves Me, This I Know, FOR the Bible tells me so."

It doesn't need to be complicated...and in my world it isn't. What a restful, calming, beautiful place to be...getting to rest in the one who loves me most and leaving my heart in His hands.  HIS word is MY answer. I am thankful HE has taught me less of the world and more of Him IS my prosperity. My cup over flows in joy.

Like a small child, I don't second guess if my Father loves me...I walk in the fact He DOES. 

KNOWING Jesus far surpasses just being KNOWN by Him. Seeking Him TO love Him, not just BE loved by Him is indescribable. "Getting back to the heart of worship", just like the song says. It "IS" all about "Him!" 

The other thing I do know is this....where I am at, I give HIM "ALL" the glory and praise; for I could not be here if He was not the author of it. I have been nothing more than a simple child of heart asking to know all about Him.  I want for nothing now other than to know His heart.  I am convinced He knows mine, I am convinced I am most safe with Him.  It is He living in me that gives me life and the contentment to be free in this world. It is He living in me that can give all of you, the gift in return.

I look forward to the day I meet Him face to face.  Not because He will hold me....BUT rather because "I" will finally get to embrace HIM and LOVE Him.  

These are my heart's thoughts on this Friday night, August 13th.  

MATTHEW 22:36-37 

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^{[a] 38} This is the first and greatest commandment.

Time.....

I am going to try blogging again, because everyone knows I can't say anything in two sentences.  God gives each of us gifts and while I can think of many gifts I would like to have; the truth is, I was given the gift of expression. For those of you who like to read beyond two sentences, thank you.

Today were many birthday's, my mom's being one of them. Been thinking about her...something she always used to say. When she said this, I would silently roll my eyes and think "Here we go again."  Looking back....I realize what she said was truth and rings true even to this day. She said "I may be old, but it doesn't mean I have not seen nor lived life."  I liked saying "Things are different."  She would let me know, "Not so much."   I did not realize it then but do now... when you have life experience underneath you, you do have something to add to those still within their journey. The sad part is, sometimes younger people count you out, just like I did my mom. Maybe part of growing IS learning the hard way.  I sure learned the hard way, all too often! Now....I listen with all my heart to those who ahead of me.

One thing I have learned along the way from my relationship with my mother is that, some...not all have had difficult relationships with their moms. I could list a lot of things about where I felt my mom let me down. She was not much of a nurturer, an encourager, and I certainly questioned what I thought love should be and where I felt she lacked. It drove a lot of hurt, bitterness and wasted time in my life. Now that she is gone, I look back and realize she did love me, she loved me all she knew how to.  She, too was human, and had her own wounds.  My mom loved me by making sure I was given a home, I had food on my plate, and I was clothed. She loved me by giving up things for herself that I might have things. She loved me by making me laugh when I was so mad or sad. She would say "Give me that Hollywood smile" as I pouted and suddenly I would be giggling. She had no problem disagreeing with me, teaching me to trust my own heart as she trusted hers. She shared her faith. She lived her faith. She grew up without a mother, her mommy died when she was 4. She could make a piece of toast for breakfast and eat half, keeping the half and eating it later. She knew the value of not wasting anything having grown up poor.

She hid her own pain, having lost her fist child within two weeks of that baby girl's birth and later on in life losing another child to a senseless murder. I wasted so much time thinking about all I lacked from her, I missed all she had given, I missed loving her. Three months before she died, we came together in a healing blessed way. Letting her go tore my heart apart.

I now have "lived" some life and this is what I say to you whose parents still live.  LOVE them; forgive them for being human and no matter how much you think this world is one way, maybe just MAYBE they do know more than you. Maybe they have gotten a lot wrong....but maybe, just maybe they have gotten a lot right as well.  Family life is a beautiful chaos. I have seen families decimated for nothing. Fight for restoration. 
 Happy Birthday again mom